Tough love

''Omg I love my baby sooooo much'' 9:24am


''I can't believe you did that. Such an ass. Get fucked'' 4:01pm


''Cant wait to see you tonight '' 8:13pm




These are the words of young women the world over, all active in loving, yet emotionally fluctuating relationships. Never afraid of a good PDA, these girls provide pure comic gold for their friends and followers in social cyber space.
One particular young lass I used to go to highschool with appears to be in a 'love/hate/love' connection rather than the normal 'love' type of relationship.
Almost every day, this status updating addict will express four seasons worth of emotions, all subtly directed at her other half. Of course, she has never named the person who has caused her the heartache/sporadic act of declared gratefullness, however, just quietly, I'm sure we social networking junkies all know who she is referencing...
This woman intrigues me. I don't understand how she can critise her partner and call him a ''fucking dickhead'' yet, two hours later affectionately declare just how much she loves her man, how sexy, how wonderful, how smart etc. he is.
Sometimes I really want to slap this girl and tell her to contain her ridiculously idiodic updates to herself, all in the form of a sarcastic comment that, only the girl's close friends would suggest in the tone of a light hearted joke:
''How could you do this to me?'' 11:58pm
''Because your a stupid whipped mole?''

''Babe, I love you more than words can express'' 10:17am
''Really? Then why post this. Geez, way to waste a perfectly good spot of social comment!''

''Don't know if I can trust you...'' 1:10pm
''No, you can't. Just quietly I'm sitting at my computer copying and pasting ripped pictures into a paint document and doodling nazi moustaches on your chubby little face. Also contemplating a mass photocopy sesh...''

What really intrigues me, is this lovely lady's motives in being so public. What does she expect to gain from it all? The confidence and esteem of saying what she feels half assed? Does she hope that her boyfriend will be the envitable romeo and confess his sincere apologies for tugging her sensitive (putting it nicely) heartstrings? Or does she expect a Facebook fairy godmother to magically click her networking heels and provide a key to the door that is the meaning of life, and casually throw in a karma sutra novel to, at the very least, satisfy this girl's physical desires?

No, in fact it's none of these. Several loyal friends concregate with her, several aunties provide advice and encouragement to her upside down dramas like she is a mini Schappelle Corbey in a death trial and her idiodic, albeit helpless, biffle continues to post that slightly promiscuous, love dovey appreciation shit. While in the meantime, one time acquaintances such as myself, toy with the idea of deleting her off our news feeds, or off our friends lists all together. I haven't pursued that option to the fullest- having found an example of a modern day primadonna; a damsel in distress, having trouble in the ultimate paradise. Instead of clicking of the button of the mouse, I have a giggle at this type of girl. Sad, soppy and the ultimate tragic pushover, with a fugly boyfriend....
But who am I to judge these once known strangers? I'm sure her dim witted boyfriend has a ''great'' personality, and good for them for being so dramatically in love. ''As long as their happy'' my father always says.....
Happy? That was 5 hours ago.