To be or not to be: A straight girl's Midsumma adventure in a gay world.

Just like every other student at the end of last year’s academic semester, I was brimming with excitement. I couldn’t wait to finally relax, hang out with my friends and really enjoy the upcoming silly season.

But four months of sweet summer lovin’ is quite a long time. So to ensure I didn’t become the squeaky wheel, I set out a goal to get some work experience under my belt.

Forward on several weeks of lazing in the sun, slaving the retail hours away (it wasn’t a complete break – let’s blame my landlord’s incessant monetary needs for that one!) and relishing in the act of sneaky, but oh-so-satisfying Facebook stalking, I found myself in the offices of the Adam Lowe Group, who coordinate Melbourne's Midsumma Festival.

I had landed a gig helping out the very lovely Marketing and PR Manager, James Findlay, in coordinating the festival’s radio program, along with the odd job of photocopying, compiling publicity statistics and photocopying those publicity statistics.

I was pretty nervous at the start. Not because of the workload, or the expectation I had on myself to make a “good impression”, but because I felt a little out of my comfort zone.

You see, Midsumma Festival is a festival for the GLBTIQ community. It’s a festival that celebrates visual and performing arts in queer Melbourne, and from mid January to early February, hundreds of venues across the city take part and host the wonderful works that are produced, performed and put on.

The day after my initial interview for the placement, I made the weekly catch-up phone call to my Grandma.

“So I had an interview for a work experience placement yesterday. It’s for the Midsumma Festival. I think it went well...”

“Did you tell them you were a lesbian? Because if you told them you were a lesbian...”

“NO GRANDMA! I did not say I was a lesbian! You can’t lie like that!”

“Why not? They won’t know!”

“Because Grandma, they will know! They’ll make a funny joke, or ask me a question and I probably won’t know what to say, and then my lie will be out! It’s one thing to lie on your resume, Grandma, but to lie about your sexuality in a volunteer job that is loosely based on the idea of sexuality – it’s just not ethical!”

I will admit the thought did cross my mind.

Having a couple of friends who are out, the overall idea certainly didn’t faze me, it excited me.  But I was nervous in the fact that little old me would be thrust (so to say) into the depths of gay culture.  Would I understand it? Would I get all the gay-themed jokes that were to thrown around the office as phone calls and emails were attended to? The possibility of not having a funny input into a perfectly adult conversation scared me.

But the more time I spent working on what would become my queer little baby – Tasting Midsumma Radio on JOY94.9FM – the more I felt at ease.

As producer of the 4 week, 2 hour program, it was my job to contact the artists and talent to secure the interviews, think of interesting questions to ask and to formulate a running schedule - basically, run around like a roasted chook with a bit of stressing on the side!

With the festival guide in hand, I felt this new responsibility to be not (that) scary, but rather liberating, exciting and full of fabulous opportunity! Along with James’ informative suggestions and assistance, I selected people who I thought would come across well to the broadcasted ear.

I had a general expectation that the visual artists would speak deeply and darkly, and the theatre performers, actors, actresses and comedians would have streaks of ‘flamboyant diva’ in their blood. But very quickly those expectations flew out the door. Over the four weeks, my world was enlightened and enriched with the occasion to meet some incredibly talented people, all who were very down-to-earth and most grateful for a shot to promote their work.

I also learnt some valuable lessons which have helped change my outlooks as a developing professional, a slaving student and as a true, festival loving Melburnian:

1. I learnt about community groups that I never knew existed – did you know there is a gay and lesbian running group, a dance group, a tennis club and queer life drawing classes? I certainly didn’t. 

2. I learnt the dress codes of gay men’s nightclubs, and where they go (Fitzroy’s Smith Street is a popular choice, as is Prahran’s Chapel Street, if you’re wondering) and what they sometimes do.

3. I learnt that you should always proof-read anything you write. After quickly smashing out the usual request-for-interview email, I accidently neglected to put the line “of Tasting Midsumma radio” in the opening sentence.  I also didn’t realise that this email I had just sent was going directly to the boss of the festival. So, instead of reading “My name is Lana Wilson and I am the producer of Tasting Midsumma radio for the Midsumma Festival...”  He read it as “I am the producer for the Midsumma Festival”.  Oops, a little too much responsibility for one interning-student!

4. I learnt that in radio, timing is king and Plan B is Queen. Suggesting all phone interviews be connected 5 minutes prior to the scheduled time was a good idea, as was having an ‘emergency contact’ list of numbers to call any late-comers.  With my running schedule broken down into 5 minute blocks, I had each arrival and telephone call marked to the minute. But when the Lord Mayor of Melbourne forgets to call the studio, and all you have is a personal assistant’s number, sometimes that crucial element of timing requires ‘Plan B’  to be exercised. (It should also be noted that ‘Plan B’ should also involve some form of stress management or calming factor.)

5. But most importantly, I learnt that everyone is the same.

My concerns early in the job were quickly banished as I watched and laughed at YouTube clips of English sketch show Little Britain with the other festival coordinators in the office. I embraced the opportunity to not only gain the much desired industry-relevant addition to my CV, but to gain it in an alternative and incredibly unique environment.

I found complacency in the fact that I too, could drool over the buff bodies of those fit model men in the gay magazines, and that for once I didn’t have to hide my secret love for Ke$ha, Rihanna and Lady GaGa. Possibly toying with the term of being a ‘fag-hag’ to the gay world as a whole, here - I realised its okay to be straight and be involved in such a vibrant, accepting and fun-loving society.